Last week in the supermarket I completely lost all sense. At the checkout, just after I’d unloaded an ’emergency picnic’ I suddenly realised I’d forgotten something.
The checkout operator looked at me like I was slightly unstable as I repeatedly described “a small wooden stick that you stick in olives to eat the … or a pointy stick, made of wood about ‘this’ big”.
Exasperated, the poor woman I was talking to kept shouting “A FORK, you mean A FORK” to which I kept shouting “No, not a fork, it doesn’t have many prongs .. just one POINTY end” … like that helped the situation.
More frustrated and making the movement you would make to put a wooden stick in an olive, I said “No a small stick, pointy at each end, but not a toothpick either!”
A manager who obviously thought I was on day release, and concerned about my wild gesticulating in the face of her colleague shouted “COCKtail stick, you are looking for a COCKtail stick” and led me off to the party aisle.
Believe me, as I relive this moment and recount it for you lot
to laugh at my expense I am wondering whether I may need an MRI scan or just a frontal lobotomy.What a tit.
I left the supermarket repeating the words ‘cocktail stick’ under my breath. When I got in the car my children looked at me, with consternation, as I described my worrying memory loss to The Husband who pointed out that maybe I should have mentioned small sausages or even pineapple instead of olives.