In the early hours of Tuesday morning, 3.12am to be exact, a rather scared and shaky 3 year old got into bed with us and said he’d been having nightmares. I asked him what about and he said the … ‘Croakwatcher’. Yes, that is ‘Croak’ and ‘watcher’ together. In half asleep mode I just nodded and tried to go back to sleep. The next few hours were a mixture of being slapped around the face, him snoring and breathing up my nostrils, poking me in the eyes and generally thrashing about, but no further nightmares.
On the way to school I decided to question him about his dream. What is a croakwatcher? Is it a frog? Is it a cockroach? How many eyes? How many legs? What colour? How big?
His answers were not forthcoming, but what he did share was that it had lots (held up five fingers) of legs, one eye, it was brown, it was massive (held out his arms as far as they would go) and it wanted to eat him. The five year old, feeling this wasn’t exciting enough, managed to convince him it had a nose on it’s bottom. I’m not so sure.
After school they sat on the swings in the garden. The 3 year old kept looking over his shoulder suspiciously. I asked what he was looking at … he said “That’s where the Croakwatcher lives” … and I do believe the sky got darker.
The next evening I went to the village pre-school fundraiser where I bought Christmas cards (You did what? Yes, I know) and ate cake. When I got home, I walked up the path to our front door where there are some flower pots.
Out from behind one of the pots jumped THE BIGGEST toad I ever did see. Seriously, I thought it was going to take me hostage and demand my car keys. After squealing and notifying the husband who looked completely unimpressed by my ‘It was a fecking HUGE toad story’ (whilst holding out my arms as far as they would go) I started thinking that perhaps this was in fact a lesser spotted Croakwatcher.
I was so pleased with myself. The next morning I found a picture of a toad and, in the style of a detective questioning her suspect, casually threw the picture in front of the 3 year old at breakfast … “Did it look like this?” I demanded whilst shoving his face in his Cheerios for extra effect. He told me it was not. But proceeded to tell me it was MASSIVE and it had one eye and it wanted to eat him. ”That’s old news” I said.
On Friday morning I woke feeling slightly disturbed, as my nightmare came back to me I realised I had dreamt about the Croakwatcher. Could I describe it to you? No, but it’s a scary mofo … even now, on Friday evening I’m wondering where the Croakwatcher is. … and no, I don’t think it had a nose on it’s bottom.
15 Comments on "The case of the mysterious Croakwatcher"
Laura, this has FABULOUS picture book potential!
This is too funny, I am now going to bed with nightmares of the gigantic toad about to take your car keys!!
My little boy aged 2 – is afraid of the wolf who lives in the garden!
funny. definitely a good character for a book or movie
I definitely see this character in a book or movie.
Come on now, if you can’t make a children’s book out of the ‘Croakwatcher’…. I’ll do the illustrations.
Ooh I quite like the sound of the Croakwatcher – kind of like the Gruffalo – would make a good children’s story don’t you think?
Englishmum and Erica better watch out. That dream is obviously contagious.
Probably a good thing we didn’t get to meet on Sunday. My dreams are scary enough without borrowing your Croakwatcher. Shudder.
A nose on its bottom, you say? Really?? How did it smell?
(yes, I know. I’ll get me coat. In my defence, I do have a monster hangover and I’m blaming it on the Croakwatcher)
Bags not sitting next to you on the plane, then.
Ooh, Croakwatcher. Fab name. Not so good for nightmares though.
Hope you dont get anymore.
RMxx
And now we know where 3 yr old gets it from! Hope your house is soon croakwatcher free, can’t say i’ve ever come across one but i’ll be extra vigilant form now on lol
I was on the edge of my seat reading that. Does that mean I am easily scared by Croakwatchers or I have had nightmores about them too. However I do think they have a noses on their bottoms.
You need a break, Spain will do you good. X
(hang in there)
Just disgusted at the use of the word mofo. How could you?
Dónde están los aseos?
I just wanted to admit that I have already bought presents for the children’s stockings. I went to the V and A shop and it was brilliant and I just couldn’t stop. Last year I left it to late, hence this year far too early. In other words I completely understand about the Christmas Cards.