We left our dog, Peanut, with the ‘Lovelies’ when we went to Italy. The Lovely Family comprises Auntie Ems, Uncle Paul, Els (aged 13) and Saraaaah (aged 12).
She wrote a diary about her week away …
Day 1
Arrive at Uncle Paul’s house. My family abandons me. Am I bothered? look at my face. I note they are storing my stuff (food, lead and ball) in the downstairs loo.
Day 2
Disgraced myself on both walks today by leaping into ponds/streams etc. Had to be hosed down. Lovelies note the remarkable water retention properties of my fur.
Met baby dog next door, who peed himself with excitement. Disgraced self again by madly chasing him into next door, skating on their laminate floor and almost careering into the ironing board in the kitchen.
Lovelies have noted my eternal optimism every time someone goes into the downstairs loo – I do my best “I’m very hungry” look.
Tonight they forgot to feed me – dozy lot. Had to bark at back door for attention.
Oh, and they’ve lost my ball already … great.
Day 3
Despite my doubts about Els and Saraaaah’s advice that going to bed with wet hair would ensure I look very cool the next day, my coiffure seems OK.
Uncle Paul tries to take me for a walk, I sit down on the drive and refuse to budge. They all wonder if I’m ill or if I just don’t want to risk being hosed down again.
Later Els and Saraaaah take me out so I make sure I do a nice juicy poo for them to pick up. They think it’s minging.
Everyone goes out and leaves me behind so I do my best suicidally sad face.
Later lots of friendly girls turn up and make a fuss of me – hurrah! They take me out for a walk and there’s a torrential downpour. I’m soaking wet … Again … Great. The friendly girls all sleep over, in the garden, in a big green kennel sort of thing. Bit mean I reckon.
Day 4
Ooooh, lot”s more fussing over me by the friendly girls. Later they leave so I do some sunbathing and general lolling around. A bit later on, a boy comes round to see Els, but of course he can’t resist my furry charms and I get fussed over. Then Els (whom I notice has been acting a bit “giddy” since this boy arrived) says to the boy “Sorry if I smell of dog!” Bloody cheek! Anyway, it’s never been a problem for me when meeting the opposite sex – if you know what I mean.
The Lovelies go out and leave me in the kitchen. Ho hum. I do some complex algebra in my head to keep me amused, When they finally return, Auntie Ems takes me for a little stroll around the block. She seems a little less steady on her feet and is chatting away to me about some nonsense – I just humour her.
Day 5
Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring. They were supposed to take me somewhere nice today and just because of a bit of drizzle, they cried off.
Caused much amusement in evening by falling asleep and snoring very loudly, then twitching like a dog possessed.
Day 6
Had a lovely walk down the Magic Path and into the woods. It was a smellotastic experience. Nearly got waped by a Whodesian Widgeback – had to do my best “I’m not that kind of girl!” avoidance tactics of dancing around skittishly.
Uncle Paul and Auntie Ems teased me by asking dumb questions like “Where’ Laura?”. I fell for it for just a second but they got my best reproachful look.
They are becoming familiar with my extensive repertoire of looks, for example; Wistful, knowing, hopeful, Come hither, I haven’t eaten for ages, Throw it now GODAMMIT! and of course the irresistible look of lurve.
Day 7
Uncle Paul walked me out this morning shortly after 8am. As we strolled down the main road past queuing rush hour traffic, I felt an urge. Uncle Paul seemed to think I was putting him to the test – to see if he could pick up my gigantic poo in front of an audience of involuntary onlookers. Naturally he stepped up to the mark.
Day 8
Another dull and drizzly day for some (whilst others bask, carefree, in the Italian Riviera – or wherever it was they buggered off to). I take a walk up to Morrison’s with Auntie Ems and Uncle Paul where I’m much admired by staff and customers alike.
Day 9
Only one more sleep to go 0 they tell me – before I’m back in the bosom of my family. Hurrah!
Although I would say that on balance, it’s not been a bad holiday and I would definitely consider coming to this place again. The food has been pleasant, although punctuality of service was not always what it could be. I’ve been fussed over quite a lot. I’ve also been shouted at a few times – like when I’ve slobbered on Uncle Paul’s best suit trousers just before he goes off to some ‘important’ meeting.
Day 10
I swear Uncle Paul had a tear in his eye when he said goodbye to me this morning – so I did my best to leave a little memento, a nice slobber mark on his suit trousers. They will be sorry to see me go – they said – and they will probably be wistfully looking for a chocolate brown shadow in the corner of the room after I’m gone.
Of course there will be small fluffy traces of me everywhere so I hope that will be some comfort.
Adieu
Peanut, aged nearly 8 (49 in human years)
7 Comments on "Ten Days With The Lovelies"
Chocolate labs are the best dogs in the world. Fact.
I think its their natural, statesmanlike dignity, and ability to think through any situation before acting. Oh, hang on…
Love it! Sounds like he had a fab holiday.
I love Peanut. And Gramps. In fact, can I come and live at yours?
You have a funny dog, too? Jeeesh…
Marvellous and very funny too!
What a talented dog you have!
That is cute. I’m glad s/he had fun, there’s nothing better than a happy doggy. I love dogs like Peanut, beautiful, chocolate labs.
Brilliant! Glad to hear you had a good holiday Peanut.