It’s the last day of the competition for our family to win a Nissan LEAF.  We had a lot of fun test driving the car, it was perfect for our family lifestyle, and our first charge of 111 miles lasted 6 days. We managed to get a combination of dogs, wellies, scooters and bikes in the boot to suit all.

The Teenager, who will be learning to drive in just over two months, was particularly impressed with the bluetooth capabilities and though nothing of fiddling away playing HER music and ringing people.  The 7 year old’s favourite feature were the two cup holders in the back … she’s easily pleased.  The silence of the car was not golden at times, particularly when driving along the back alley and pensioners not realising we were there. The back seat had more room than our current estate car and the three children sat together with more leg room and bottom space!

We had the car for two weeks and it wasn’t unusual for me to nip out to the shops and be gone longer than normal due to the interest in the car.  The locals were all voting and at a party on Saturday three people I’d never met before came up and told me they’d been voting and loved our video.

A change in the rules, mid competition, meant that I could no longer offer test drives to those who wanted them but if you do still want to test drive the Nissan LEAF you can do so by booking one here

I am very grateful to our friends the length and breadth of the UK, India, America, Australia and Slovakia … and anyone else I’ve forgotten for voting and making it their daily duty to turn me on.  The Husband’s business partners, Dev and Avi, have invited us to go and stay with them In India during a trip we’re planning next year.

When Nissan LEAF Car 28 had to go back we were all a little sad, the children congregated on the front step to wave the car off. I explained to the nice Nissan man about the custard stain on the passenger seat from this and the abundance of brown dog hair on the driver seat from this and we agreed that we’d put the car through very rigorous tests. Due to technical hitches we were unable to get the in-car camera working.  Also the free Carwings app which lets you set the climate control, via iphone, from the comfort of your bed before you set off for work … and check your range didn’t get going but I can imagine it’s a real bonus.

Tonight at midnight the competition ends, the votes will all be verified and hashtags (like the one I’ve bombarded everyone with on Twitter for our car #NissanLEAFcar28) counted up by an independent adjudicator.  We’d love to win, but even if we don’t we had a blast and will always think fondly of the time we spent with Larry the Nissan LEAF and the day the production team came to our house to film us for our special family road trip. The laughter on that day was well worth it. Please vote here;

This week has been a haze of sleep deprivation, house training and hoping that our older dog, Peanut, who is 9, comes round to the idea of having a new puppy.  For the first two days she was aloof.  If she was a human she would have shrugged and rolled her eyes when she met Jessie for the first time.  If she had a Facebook account her status update would have simply said “WTF?”

It’s like having a newborn baby again … without the breastfeeding.  She eats, sleeps and plays like clockwork … just not in line with anyone else’s schedule. On Monday night Jessie woke at 1, 3 and 5am.  On Tuesday morning when I found myself sitting on the doorstep at 4am urging her to have a wee I was thinking that I really should get some warmer pyjamas and invest in a bobble hat and ear warmers.

She’s a happy, laid back little soul though which is a blessing in this house.The children have been beside themselves with excitement and it’s a very good job that they are in school during the day, giving the puppy a break.

And Peanut?  She’s coming round to the idea of a small brown dog hanging off her tail and trying to nibble her ears. She’s started playing with her but is still wondering when she’ll be going back.

Now excuse me. I must catch up on some sleep.

During our visit she was lively,  inquisitive and very interested in chewing jumpers.  Her teeth are razor sharp and her eyes are changing from baby blue to brown. She enjoyed playing with the children, jumping on them and running around the room.

I want to call her Fudgey Wudgey Budgey but the family won’t let me.  Instead she’ll be called Jessie …

In 13 sleeps Jessie will be coming to live with us. It’s an exciting time.

We met our chocolate labrador puppy for the first time this weekend. The children fell in love instantly and spent an hour cuddling her. She’s only 4 weeks old and resembles a round, milk filled, seal pup. There’s another 4 weeks before she can come home.

It’s going to be a long 4 weeks.

We took lots of photos but the light wasn’t great. It didn’t hide the excitement on the 7 year old’s face though, her light just got brighter.

Peanut, the dog, is 9 this month, which is 63 in human years.

In the last year she’s started showing her age;  She has white beard, not a good look on a lady; She gets up slowly; Her breath smells as if she is decomposing from the inside out; She sleeps for longer and oh my god the farts … they are getting worse, if that’s possible.  Funnily enough in human years she’s the same age as my Dad, Gramps.  I must ask him if he’s experiencing similar problems.

I felt so sad about her OAP status that I googled ‘how long do labradors live for?’ . I know, I know, SIT ON YOUR HANDS … but I couldn’t. So facts are facts … and Google is never wrong.  She has a maximum of 4 years left.  That sliding noise?  That’s me on the slipping into denial.

The same day I  went to the supermarket with the children.  There was a Dog’s Trust stand outside the entrance.  Both children took great interest in the stand until I ushered them on. The 7 year old asked if we could get a puppy.  I explained that one dog was enough, but that when Peanut died, a long long long long time from now (did I tell you that I’m in denial?), we would probably get another dog. Later at home the 5 year old was snuggling up to the dog, using her as a pillow.  He stroked her,  “It’s OK, Peanut, we’ll get a puppy when you die” he said … lovingly.

She’s a bloody pain sometimes.  The moulting drives The Husband to distraction and whatever you are trying to do in the house she is there in the way, asleep, like a giant log, but I know that our house will be a very sad place without her.

I wonder how much it costs to stuff a large labrador?

According to Wikipedia : Blowing a raspberry is to make a noise signifying derision (and/or silliness), made by sticking out the tongue between the lips and blowing to make a sound reminiscent of flatulence.

We switched her food last week. Normally she has expensive stuff that you can only get in one shop in the whole world (slight exaggeration).  The Husband swears it gives her firmer stools. I’ve never questioned him further on that statement.

I couldn’t get to the dog food shop last weekend so she ended up eating the cheaper stuff this week.  Big mistake, no … HUGE.  We have spent the past seven days in a haze of dog fart.  Whichever room the children play in the dog inevitably dog wanders in to lie next to them.  Within 2 minutes of her lying down they have their hands clamped round their noses and are not only shoving her out of the room, but into the garden.

Of an evening we have watched the TV with cushions pressed firmly against our faces, watery eyes peeping over the top as another silent but deadly fart wafts through the room.  I say ‘waft’ but to be fair it’s more of a lingering haze of death.

On Friday night I took her to the shop with me (wine run).  It was 7.45 and already *shock horror* getting dark.  I tied her up outside where she sniffed the pavement happily.  When I came out of the shop I undid her lead so she was free, as I put down my shopping to put her back on the lead, she assumed the attack position and barked loudly at the shopkeeper who was standing in his doorway surveying the street, she then edged toward him.

He crapped himself, she realised it was a normal person and not, I assume, someone about to attack me and backed down as the man, in blind panic, went crashing into one of his displays.

In a sea of chocolate fingers (2 for £2.00 don’t you know) and Discovery salsa (BOGOF) I apologised for her behaviour.  He seemed fine, but that might have been the shock.  As we walked off I swear the dog rolled her eyes at me and huffed.

Maybe in her old age she’ll become famous when Mr Shopkeeper eventually sees the funny side and sends his CCTV to You’ve Been Framed. We too will laugh, from behind our cushion nasal protectors, as yet another guff engulfs the Driver living room, and we watch Mr Shopkeeper hurtling into the chocolate fingers and salsa display.

Please take your hand out of your pants.

All I want is to have a poo in peace. Is it too much to ask?

SHUT UP!

Turn off that fart machine, I can’t concentrate.

If anyone touches my knitting they are dead.

Did you really just tell the delivery man that Mummy and Daddy were still in bed?

Stop fiddling with the dog’s eyebrows.

It is VERY rude to tell someone to shut up.

If you lie on the dog like that she might stop breathing.

Did you just trump on my knee?

Daddy is having a meeting in the living room, please stop barking like a rabid dog.

No you cannot look at your brother’s testicles.

If you wave that lightsaber in my face once more I will throw it out of the window.

It is 6am, shut your eyes and count to 1000.

No, I have not just trumped.

They are not ‘bumnuts’ they are testicles.