So the 5 year old’s swimming lessons started last week at the local pool.
She got in the pool and after a while the instructor told her to take one of her swim rings off each arm (she started with 3) because she was doing so well and congratulated her on her breast stroke. I swelled with pride, she cried and refused to take a ring off.
At the end of the lesson he asked everyone to put their faces in the water and blow bubbles. He told them to do as much or as little as they wanted. She blew bubbles without her face in the water, then cried.
After the lesson she was fine, said she didn’t like putting her face in the water. I reassured her that he wouldn’t expect her to put her whole face in the water if she didn’t want to.
So, this week we set off for swimming, she was happily babbling on about something or other in the car. As we got nearer to swimming she got quieter, then she started weeping.
I managed to get her into the changing rooms, into her costume and to the side of the pool where her sobs got louder and louder. With everyone staring I quietly started the bribery process.
For a month now she has been coveting a doll’s pushchair in a local shop. At £25 I told her she’d have to save up. We’ve been giving her money here and there for little chores and as a reward for good behaviour. Our little version of payday loans.
Pushchair of her dreams ...
I started with “Two fat golden coins towards the pushchair of her dreams” if she’d get in the pool.
She continued sobbing louder, everyone stared, all the other children were in the pool.
“Two fat coins and a big piece of Mummy’s flapjack after swimming” I proffered.
Then, she gripped onto me like a chimpanzee and I went in for the kill whilst trying to loosen her vice like grip around my neck …
“OK, I’ll buy you the pushchair tomorrow if you will get in the pool”
To my shock the final bribe didn’t work, which was when I realised any more attempts to get her in were futile. She would not be getting in that pool then or any other time for swimming lessons. I dragged her back to the changing rooms.
I was annoyed. Annoyed that she wouldn’t get in. Annoyed that my confident girl had bought a ticket to Sobland and couldn’t give me a reasonable explanation for why she didn’t want to get in the pool. Annoyed that I’d spent £40 on swimming lessons that were never going to be used and wouldn’t be refunded. Most of all I was annoyed that I’d tried to bribe her to do something she quite clearly didn’t want to do.
I told her I wouldn’t make her come again. I also told her that her get out of jail free card had been used. She would still be going to Rainbows every week … and of course school every day. At this news she was ecstatic and reverted back to my happy go lucky sing song girl. We went home and had a scooter ride with the dog.
At bedtime, she told me she was sorry for being naughty at swimming and making me cross. I felt bad. Awash with mother’s guilt* I gave her a cuddle and told her I wasn’t cross with her, that she hadn’t been naughty and that Grandpa would teach her to swim instead (Sorry Grandpa).
The good news is that I have managed to get the 3 year old lessons in place of the 5 year old so the money isn’t wasted. Bad new is that because he’s under 5 I have to get in with him.
Now, where can I get one of those burkinis?
As a side note, I would like to add that at the point of leaving the changing room to take the 5 year old to the pool I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Before leaving the house I had dryed my hair in a rushed fashion. What I saw in the mirror staring back was an Afghan Hound, not dissimilar to this one.
* I decided this week that Mother’s Guilt should be bottled and inflicted on the bad people of this world thrice daily.
26 Comments on "One get out of jail free card, used"
Oh god, I feel for you, I really do. I will do anything to avoid getting in the pool for swimming lessons. Best of luck.
Maybe it’s the instructor?
My lad is really confident in the water, and I was planning on lining up proper lessons when he turns five. But now I am not so sure, or confident. But thanks for sharing, as I can now have a good think about it.
Oh how I recognise this. And at the same age (three) too. Stack of swimming lessons paid up front, sudden complete meltdown, utter refusal to step foot in the training pool again. And then the same thing all over again with a theatre class! Or any other organised activity led by a strange adult. At five and a half, he seems to be coming out of this now but it’s been a frustrating two years.
Oh my. I totally understand the lack of desire for getting into the pool with a bunch of three yr. olds. Can you wear your clothes for that?
I think Becky puts it all in perspective. Why not leave it with grandpa for six months, then see if she feels like another go? You so don’t need a burkini, go and give them all a treat! x
At least you’re not like my dad who chucked me in “to see whether you could swim”. Apparently I could.
Ohhh…I feel your (and your daughter’s) pain!
When Freya was about 6, suddendly she didn’t want to go anymore ’cause she was scared off jumping into the deep end. I took her one Saturday for some “fun swimming” to discover that I had some how managed to forget that I too am pretty much “****” scared in deep end…so I signed up for adult lessons.
I hated them, and lasted 3 weeks. I confessed to the kids, Freya had 3 sessions of 1 to 1 lessons, totally worked a treat.
I’ve told them they can stop the second they complete Breast Stroke class, which can’t come soon enough!
I have been known to cry at the idea of getting into a swimming pool. She has my sympathy…
Laura, mother’s guilt has cost me an absolutely fortune over the last few years! I wonder if there is anyway of making her feel better about the lessons. It may be a temporary blip.
If it’s any help exactly the same happened with our four year old daughter and it turned out she had just taken a dislike to the swimming instructor. It was a little harsh because I thought he was fine, but for whatever reason it completely put her off (he was a youngish lad). We tried her again with a different instructor and she was fine. No tears or anything. Might be worth a try?
Good on you for persevering. Couple of young lads drowned here recently and I was pretty shocked to hear that neither ever learned to swim – very sad.
I think she’s got the right idea – lessons with Grandpa sound like far more fun!! x
I love swimming and so does she … usually!
You’re right about finding out where I stood, when she said no after the pushchair I just knew that if I went on I’d end up traumatising her for life
I can totally sympathise with her, I’m not keen on ‘proper’ swimming myself or putting my face in the water with eyes open. Sounds like she’ll be better off with Grandpa and they can go at their own pace.
I think we’re going to do swimming lessons next year but I’m not really looking forward to it!
Drop the mummy guilt you didn’t do anything wrong, by offering the pushchair you found out exactly where you stood, you’ve got to push them a little bit otherwise they’d run amok quitting things left, right and center. Seems this time there was a genuine issue. I don’t think I’d have handled it any different
Mothers Guilt… wooahhh. It is a threat noone should underestimate.
Adam hated swimming for years. Screamed blue murder. We left it alone for a while and then went back to it at his own speed and now we can’t get him out of the water. He’s still not great at putting his face in the water, but I figure he’ll work it out for himself when he’s good and ready. We just take them swimming often (well once a week or so) to give him the opportunity to build up his confidence on his own. Good luck to the 5 year old, she’ll be winning that Olympic gold before you know it!
She loves swimming normally … without the lesson element. If it was gymnastics or another sport I wouldn’t be so bothered, but everyone has to learn how to swim.
I’m sure Gramps will work his magic and she’ll be swimming like a fish in no time.
Wow she’d really made her mind up hadn’t she!
If I do the classes can I have the pushchair? I’m kinda short and could do with a new one – I reckon if I don’t feed Kai for a couple of weeks he’d fit in it.
LOVE the burkini x
You can have the pushchair.
I’m getting a burkini in blue … to match my eyes
I suspect you’ll have to start again by going in with her to the toddler pool, once she’s got over her fright. And goggles in the bath and a lot of fun with splashing at the level she’s comfortable with before that.
When she goes with us or grandpa she’s fine, I think her problem may have something also to do with being told what to do!
I know this is probably a dumb suggestion, but have you tried goggles? My kids did SO much better at putting their face in the water once I’d bought them each a pair.
She has some goggles, but refuses to wear them!
Thank you !
I have just found your blog, whilst blog hopping, and have been sat laughing out loud at your posts!
I can totally relate to most in some way, having a darling 6 year old daughter and 2 year old son !
Glad you found me, hope to see you again soon!
Wow, she reeeaaallly didn’t want those swimming lessons.
I too need full body coverage for swimming and was considering a wetsuit for Center Parcs.
Mother’s Guilt sucks. Big time.
I wouldn’t mind but the viewing gallery is 3 feet from the side of the pool when I get out, it’s not going to be pretty.