I was sat at the dining table this morning simultaneously eating breakfast and applying my make-up.
The 5 year old was sat opposite and we were talking about school, crunchy nut cornflakes and whether the 3 year old would make it upstairs for an emergency poo or not. Fairly standard breakfast discussions round our way.
It was quite pleasant; Supping my tea and shovelling my Weetabix whilst applying mascara.
I wasn’t concentrating on what I was doing (see multi-tasking above) when the 5 year old shouted “Mummy, you have a moustache”. Sure enough when I looked in the mirror, I had some sort of ‘remnant of dark eyeshadow moustache’.
When I said, “No look, it’s just a make-up smudge” and tried to rub it off I simply made it bigger … in the style of a Mexican bandit.
Clearly shocked to see her mother turning into Freddie Mercury before her eyes she shouted “It’s still there. Mummy, you have a big moustache” then got up and wandered off. Probably to tell her father he had married a man.
It was then that I vowed to clear out my make-up bag and get rid of all the half crumbling eye shadows and bits of old eyeliner pencil.
I cleaned myself up and thanked the 5 year old for telling me. I could have quite easily pootled off on the school run and then onto work without being any the wiser. Only last week I went to work and realised that I had, yet again, forgotten to do my hair when I was greeted in the work toilet mirror by a Leo Sayer lookalikey.
It’s OK though, because when I asked the 5 year old, my new image consultant, if she thought I’d ever have a real moustache, she said “No, only people without a house get moustaches”.
Phew. Better keep paying the rent then.
32 Comments on "Mummy You Have A Moustache!"
You’ve got her well trained to tell you that it was there … your Freddie Mercury comment made me smile !
Well, at least it was just make-up! That’s all I’m saying on the matter.
Leo Sayer hair? Now that I would pay to see
.
I left the house for the first time in oh, FOREVER, without my make-up on a couple of weeks ago. It was when it had snowed and I was stressed and I totally totally forgot. I’m still having nightmares about it.
Anyway, ‘Taches suit you. Just sayin’,
;{D
I think we should go to ‘that meeting’ and wear matching taches … What do you think?
Ha! Welcome to my world. Would you like me to give you some depilatory tips. Or maybe the 5 year old can?
I don’t have one yet. It was eyeshadow. We could go threading together in Debenhams …
Chuckle. I’ve heard, not that I have personal experience of course, that plucking or bleaching are good for lady moustache problems. Just saying.
This was just eyeshadow, luckily but I will take your friend’s advice if the need arises
Freddie Mercury
My usual is the panda look (should buy better mascara really) – and no one ever tells me!
My mascara does that … but then I did buy it circa 2005
and just what is wrong with women having moustaches, not that I have that problem you understand, ahem
Absolutely nothing. I’m sure if you had one it would enhance your eyes more … not that you have/have had or would want one.
I’m just saying.
That was so funny! A great breakfast tale! x
I have several breakfast tales … some too embarrassing to post!
Ah bless them. I opened the door to the postman this morning, had a cheery chat, then went upstairs to get ready, only then noticing that my adorable children had omitted to mention the large piece of toast that was sticking to the corner of my mouth. I mean, I even kissed them goodbye! The sods.
See, I should make the most of her honesty now. If she’s anything like me when she’d older she would see the possible future comedy moment unfurling in her mind and not tell me at all.
Clearly your children are similar.
love how a five year old’s brain works: ‘only people without a house get moustaches’ !!
I think I need to speak to her teacher about what they are teaching her
5 yr olds are better than a mirror!! Its when they declare in a loud voice about a total stranger’s excess facial hair that you can curl up with embarrassment…
I was just pleased that we weren’t in public, that’s where my children usually make their embarrassing comments.
Love your breakfast table discussions. So similar to my house. And I am seriously impressed you have makeup, I can’t even find my make up bag. Haven’t seen it for months.
I only really wear it for work, although I think it may need updating somewhat.
I like to scare other dog walkers and people in the supermarket at the weekend sans make-up.
So funny – thanks for making me laugh on a dreary Monday morning!
… and thanks for reading!
We recently ran into a friend of ours at a New Year’s Day event and when she went away, my hubby said “Did you notice X’s moustache?” I hadn’t! But my hubby had! I rest assured in the safety that he will always tell me if I am inappropriately hairy. Thank goodness your 5 year old will do the same!
Karin
I am always on ‘Tash Watch’ too … maybe that’s where she learnt her spotting skills
Nothing wrong with lady moustaches… ahem… I have been told that is…
Lady moustache sounds slightly rude actually doesn’t it?
Yes, Josie, it does.
Someone always brings the rude to these comments. Tsk.
I’d never do something like that.
Over the weekend when I was replying to a serious email on Facebook I realised that my profile picture, complete with fake moustache, probably made a mockery of anything serious I had said.
Make up whats make up!!
Well, if you saw my make-up I think most of it is from circa 2000