My 4 year old likes nothing more than going to one of the neighbouring villages skate parks. He loves it. Gliding amongst the teenagers on their BMXs and very expensive scooters.
The teenagers have been really respectful so far. They don’t get annoyed when one of the little ones gets in the way, and they help out anyone who falls over or gets stuck. There’s a nice sense of camaraderie. There is an element of swearing, usually following a scooter clash and there was once a scuffle, but I think they can get that same effect at *COUGH* home during any televised sporting event.
When the local teenagers fall off their bikes or scooters I have to hold myself back from running over and making sure they are alright. On Sunday, one young boy (probably aged 16 and not actually young) fell off his bike, there was blood gushing out of his knee. I had to be restrained by The Husband from proffering a super soft tissue. He said it would be very uncool for me to say or do anything. The boy was fine, and on further viewing, during a particularly amazing wheelie, had legs full of scars and scabs.
The litter though. Jeez. I did wonder if the litter was to detract from the several new pictures of big hairy penises adorning the skate ramps, or the scrawl that says ‘Jonny Sherlock is a big gay fanny’. I was almost tempted to ring the number underneath ‘Christopher Jennings sleeps with his Grandma’s dog’. The child shouldn’t be sleeping in a dog basket, surely he needs his own bed?
When we arrived at the skate park, on Sunday, I could see it. There were chocolate wrappers, crisp packets and plastic bottles rustling in the wind. Sat amongst them teenage girls with their Donald Trump scrape over fringes and jeggings, watching the teenage boys in their skinny jeans on the half pipe.
In my head I was waggling a finger in their faces and saying “But what if everyone in the world dropped litter, what sort of a world would that be?”
But that would, as The Husband told me, be uncool too.
Instead I shall have to start going there early in the morning, whilst the teenagers are still sleeping. My boy can have the park to himself and I can happily pick up litter. I might even make some laminated signs about dropping litter. How uncool would that be?
Maybe I won’t do that last bit. Instead, next time I’m there, I shall proudly grab my badge of ‘uncool’ mother, waggle my finger, pick up the litter and berate them all.
… and start as I mean to go on.
26 Comments on "I shall proudly grab my badge of ‘uncool’ mother …"
Hahaha, I’m right there with you. I take my 7 year old to the skatepark a lot.(My 17 year old goes too, but when they are both there I am not allowed to stay and watch). My gripe is that if the council wanted the kids to keep it tidy then they need to put litter bins at minimal distance so that they can throw in their empty cans of Monster and Rockstar without any effort. Everyone knows teenagers dont waste energy unless they want to.
The only graffiti at our park say “The world without skating is like a day without sun”. No idea who did it but its kind of cool I think.
and yes, it is the height of uncool-ness for an adult to go to the aid of a crumpled child. My two refused to wear shorts while in Florida recently due to the bruises and scrapes all over their legs.
Like the blog a lot, will spend some time spoaching around, if you dont mind that is!
BRILLIANT post. Could picture the whole scene….Lx
So funny as always.
And I agree, how do they pull off that Donald trump fringe????? it is the law of nature…try it beyond the age of 19 and its all over!
I am actually uncool and have acted upon urge to rush out and pick up fallen teenager in the street, complete with baby wipe to clean gash….
I have a laminator! I heart it.
Hilarious post as always.
You’ll have to lend it to me. We’ll need it anyways … to laminate the placemats at Peanut & Lenny’s wedding. Can’t be doing with doggy dribble on the tables.
Great post Laura…and a great description, really made me laugh out loud!
I can tell you’ve been hanging round the skateparks with those grandsons of yours!
LOL-am with you except I would have said something to them-in a nice way telling them am sure they didn’t realize…
love the part about grandma’s dog.
Poor dog, and poor Jonny Sherlock
I’ll send my 5yo round – she can always be relied on to pick up any bits of litter she finds lying around, proclaiming loudly that “that’s a bit naughty mummy, they should put that in the bin”. Am very curious to see how long this phase will last.
(oh, and the Donald Trump – such a great description!)
I might start training the 6 year old who gets a bit bored at the skate park watching her brother. I’ll get her one of those grabber sticks.
Oh, it’s nightmare. I was co-erced into the skatepark on Sunday. my rather emotional, easily-brought-to-tears 11yr old came a cropper on a particularly tricky (neverevergoingtohappen) trick, and slammed his shins into the edge of the ramp.
It brought tears to my own eyes. But what did he do? Glowered firecly at ME for taking a step towards him, hopped up, winced a bit, manfully laughed it off with the bigger boys and tried the trick again.
However, our litterers are far more considerate – they’re busy filling up that wasted space under the ramps. Thoughtful, no?
Ouch, it brought tears to my eyes reading it! I think us mother’s need some sort of bench restraining device.
You talking to them about litter would fail. EPICALLY.
Now, if the 4 year old picked up some litter and put it in the bin, that should send some SHAME through the crowd.
Hilarious. I like your thinking.
Sorry, I’m laughing too hard to type.
You have just described He-man’s day. I got a sneak look on facebook at his piccies and was horrified at some of the stunts he does. 4 year old be warned. I can see it know. A yard of underpant, trousers round his knees and a hat clamped on his head – all by the time he’s 5
We’re almost there with a yard of underpant. He’s working on the hat, trousers and street attitude.
I love this post, especially the “Donald Trump Fringe”.
I hate it when people litter, especially McDonalds rubbish in their car park when the people littering are parked next to a bin!!
I think it’s really sweet when the “cool” teenagers help out the little kids, it sounds like a nice skate park.
I still don’t understand how all these teenage girls have Donald Trump fringes and still look beautiful! … apart from the orange faced ones.
I can’t believe you just outed poor old Jonny Sherlock. He was probably thinking to himself ‘well at least it’s only the kids in the park that know about me’. Now the whole world knows, oh the humanity.
I might start up my own range of ‘uncool’ graffiti.
‘My 4 year old is better than Jonny Sherlock on the half pipe.’
‘Jonny Sherlock drops litter’
‘Jonny Sherlock walks his Grandma’s dog in the park’
Poor, poor Jonny
Ha! Laminate away LOL!
I came over all ‘mother’ on some teenagers swearing in Pudsey Park a couple of weeks ago. The husband is always suitably mortified!
We could have shares in a laminator. You could have it Wed to Saturday for your ‘Stop fooking swearing’ signs.
You make me laugh. Get laminating I say!
It’s on my Christmas list … Dear Santa, I would like a laminator, Love Laura x