I never normally have a problem with wee beasties. I am Buddhist like in my ethos. They leave me alone and I leave them alone.
On the first night of our holiday to Italy I was bitten. I was enjoying a lovely pizza with my family, when several mosquitos landed on me. I thought nothing of it, having never been bitten before. Until the next morning …
I awoke to discover that I had been bitten on my back and neck several times. Three of which were in a cluster and had swollen up, giving me a hunchback.
My hand which just had the one bite had swollen up. Had we not already bought the children spades for the beach the could have used my fat digger hand. Let’s not even get started on my legs. Covered, I tell you.
I visited the chemist. The man was very helpful but I don’t think he realised the extent of my problem when he sent me away with a tiny pot of ointment.
The following morning after spending all night scratching like a rabid dog I awoke to find further swelling and stiff joints. My fat hand was fatter and my hunchback more pronounced. The bites on my legs near my knees and feet had swollen impeding my walking. To add insult to injury I kept shaking and going cold.
It was decided that I would visit the local hospital to be checked out. Off I waddled … with two pissed off children who just wanted to launch themselves into the swimming pool.
We sat in the ‘tourist’ waiting room which had no reception and I was informed by a large German chap that it was a first come first served operation. An Italian queue! Everyone in that room knew, without a silly ticket system, or having to be called exactly who was next.
After 20 minutes I was seen, by a rather slick Doctor. I made comparison between the Italian Doctor and my own Doctor back home in Yorkshire. The Italian leather shoes (no socks) vs the Cornish pasty clogs. The beautifully coiffured hair vs the wiry pube head. The trendy tweed trousers vs the spuriously stained bobbly slacks.
He looked at my ridiculous bite covered form and gave me an injection and a prescription for some Mega Mozzie After Bite. At 26 EUROS I was pleased but at that point would have also gone for the more expensive ‘amputate’ option had it been offered.
For future reference, as only the mother of a stunt child would, I noted that Frontal Nasal Tamponage was a steal at only 5 EUROS.
15 Comments on "Fat Digger Hands, An Italian Queue and Some Nasal Tamponage"
Hi, I love your website
You post awsome posts. Bookmarked !
Oh poor you. Some people just react really badly. Husband had that reaction in the US – looked like the Monster from the black lagoon (though really hve NO idea what that looks like)…. and a girl I went on a press trip with once, wept (seriously) as she did look deformed andwas beingmet at airport by brand new boyfriend (ouch, that one really did make me feel for her). Nasty sods, mozzies.
I’m glad you took it seriously enough to go to the hospital though. I have a friend who was bitten by an insect in Venice and – well, long story, but she ended up with legs hugely swollen with elephantiasis and she’s permanently disabled in a wheelchair. In hot places, I travel with insect repellent as a matter of course now.
This is without doubt, the best title to a blog I have ever read. I fear I am going to dream tonight about ‘Frontal Nasal Tamponage’, and what the hell it means.
Oh, yuck, yuck, yuck – hate bity beasties with a vengeance. I’ve never had to go to the doctor for one though (touches lots of wooden things) – not what you need on holiday!
I note the lack of photographic post enhancement.
What? I’m not laughing at you….honest!
In true blogger style I got the Husband to take photos … unfortunately they didn’t come out too well. Ahem.
Oh and I DIDN’T take any photos relating to yesterdays post either before you ask!
Yikes, that doesn’t sound great! You should just count your blessings that none of the kids got any bites or contractions of malaria, otherwise that holiday would have been hell …
I think the mozzies were too busy feasting on me.
Malaria? In Italy!? That’s it, we’re going to Bognor or Eastbourne.
Malaria, you’ve just made me google symptoms of malaria in blind panic. No malaria here. Just odd reaction. Honest.
I’m itchy just thinking about that.
Am itching again, reading your comment!