I didn’t know true sleep deprivation until I had children. Now I know I can survive on 4 hours sleep with the help of Diet Coke and pure childcare adrenalin, but I am a monster, and I know that blood is thicker than water because if they weren’t born of my loins I would have killed them by now.
The 4 year old didn’t sleep through the night without interruption until her brother arrived on the scene (she was 18 months old). I’m sure she then slept with a wry smile.
Now it’s different- I think they have meetings by nightlight to discuss that evenings tactics.
The current tactic is a relay race by which the 4 year old, who suffers night terrors, wakes from 11pm-3am every hour on the hour screaming as though she’s being stabbed with a butter knife. Then the 2 and a half year old wakes at 5am to beat on his door with whatever he can find (usually Mr Potato Head’s carcass) whilst shouting ‘Mummy’ in a variety of tones until he is released.
We did have an unusually quiet morning 2 weeks ago. The sort where you think maybe you should check they are still breathing. Which I did, to find the 2 and a half year old on his window sill smearing nappy cream all over it and himself. I wasn’t sure whether to be happy for the extra sleep or angry for the mess.
I think I should invite myself to one of their nightlight meetings and put across the point that if Mummy doesn’t get enough sleep Mummy is very grumpy and that I will offer chocolate incentives.
The 2 and a half year old still has a nap and I often wonder whether I should give him a taste of his own medicine and wait until he’s just dropped off then bang on his door with a selection of Mr Potato Head’s limbs (for variety). I could then burst into his room covered in nappy cream whilst shouting his name. I could then be sectioned …
… but at least I’d get some sleep!
4 Comments on "Burning The Candle Both Ends"
Our baby is only 8 weeks old but his Dad is already planning on how he will wake him when he is a teenager that wants to sleep all day. Just think, there is a point in their future that we can get all the revenge that we want. I now understand why my mum used to hoover up against my bedroom door every Saturday morning.
That last image…..so funny!
Big E shouts ‘Dadddyyyyyyy’ Bianca from Eastenders stylee every morning from his bedroom gate. Gonna record it one day and torture him with it in his teens.
;D
Love it too!
How thoughtful of you to allow me to enjoy a virtual NCT get together whilst in the depths of the desert!
Free legal advice: get the children to sign a disclaimer in case of increased therapy requirements in later years!
With this blog, you are really spoiling us.
Love it – keep writing, sister!
M x