The 5 year old claims not to like our new house. She quite clearly loves her bedroom and the garden, I think she feels that to say she likes this house would be like being unfaithful to the old house. Last week she made friends with the girls next door. After several days of her staring at them over the wall followed by several days of fishwiving over the wall they finally started playing together. This week she has announced that she likes this house, just not the outside colour, so we are getting somewhere. She is limbering up for her first day of the holiday club which is based at her school.
Me? I’m pinning all my hopes on her liking the holiday club at school. If she doesn’t we are doomed. Our childcare is somewhat sketchy over the school holidays and based on a mixture of OAP childminders, grandparents, me, the husband and the school club. I’m currently operating a calendar on the back of the kitchen door and a list in my bag with lots of dates, scribbles, arrows and crossings out on it. Every time I have a conversation with someone about childcare I have to synchronise the calendar and the scribbly list. At present we have 10 days where the children will be left to fend for themselves with just the dog for company. I jest of course …
My love affair with the dishwasher is reaching the end of the honeymoon period. I still love it but it still needs loading and unloading and thanks to English Mum who told me story about a child who fell on a knife in an open dishwasher I am paranoid … even the spoons are put in face down. Did you ever hear a tale of someone dying from falling on a teaspoon? No, me neither.
Since the last update I have bought eye wrinkle cream in the hope that I can halt any further canyons laughter lines caused by my hilarious life. However, as with all things, you deal with one problem and along comes another … Nasal hair. It’s suddenly decided to grow and without one of those Remington Fuzz Away jobbies which I’m sure must tickle I sought advice. My sister who is eleven years older than me and therefore well versed in the ageing process (Ahem) suggested I put Veet up my nose and then blow it after the 5 minutes is up. This frightens me.
I discovered by accident that I have been blogging a year last Friday which was quite a shock. I also discovered that without alcohol or any encouragement I am a bonafide celebrity stalker, no thanks to Facebook. Last week during a lapse in sensible thinking and a moment of boredom a celebrity came up in my ‘people I might know’ page on Facebook. I wrote this person, who we’ll call Barbara McTavish, a long email telling her that I knew two people she knew, that I blog and we have children of a similar age and then just finished and hit send. I immediately wished that a) Facebook didn’t exist and that b) I hadn’t hit send. Funnily enough I’m still waiting for a reply. If by any remote chance she’s reading this I wish to send my apologies and I will step away from the Facebook ‘people you might know however tenuous’ section in future.
Since moving to the house I have become aware of how much shouting I do. Moving from a detached to a terrace is a shock to my system and the neighbours, not helped by …
… The 3 year old who still has an aversion to bathing. He still bathes with one foot hanging out of the bath … AT ALL TIMES whilst screaming blue murder at the mention of submerging his foot. He finished pre-school this week and starts big school nursery in September. I am having difficulty explaining the length of time between now and the start of school. Any more than 3 sleeps and I’ve lost him. This means that every morning over breakfast he excitedly asks if he’s going to big school. It’s groundhog day.
He still wears socks to bed, although they now have to match and he watches Wallace and Gromit’s A Grand Day Out twice daily if he can. Anything less and he gets twitchy. He has taken to waking early again (pre 7am) every morning which is making …
… The Husband twitchy. He is worried because we are going camping this week and our children are renowned for waking early when camping (pre 5am). There’s nothing like sitting in a dewy field with a 3 year old in your jim jams and a Berghaus wondering what the f*ck to do for 3 hours without CBeebies until everyone else rises with only …
… The dog for company. She likes the new house so much that yesterday she decided to just bob next door to introduce herself to our neighbours. As in right inside their house, just mosied on in for a sniff, hopefully not a crotch based one. We only realised when our neighbour who probably thinks I thrash my son in the bath with a belt started shrieking at her to get out. The dog also spent the best part of last week honking on the new house carpets which was pleasant.
22 Comments on "An update on life as we know it …"
The groundhog day line elicited a giggle. Tots have no concept of time at all!
The tales of bathing and foot submergence had me in stitches!
I’m still waiting for AWNTYM, the Movie.
You’re in!
Well done, you’ve survived to tell the tale.
Once you’ve had Christmas in a new house it feels really like home.
GG
All highly amusing but you have totally put me off camping which we were intending to do for the first time this summer. My kids/dog would definitely be up at 5am and would be noisy and wake everyone up and we would be hated.
Happy Bloggiversary and Leather anniversary too – did you invest in a double leather sleeping bag??
You had me snorting at the nasal hair thing – to funny, but a word of warning NO NO NO00 nair is the devil, i had a slight mishap with that one when i was deforesting my flower the day before i gave birth to the twins – bush fire is all i can say!
It’s groundhog day here too, same questions, same boring routine and not a hint of sun to do the ‘summer thing’, whatever that is.
So funny! Re the dishwasher, Presley ‘helps’ me unload it in the morning. The first thing I do is take the cutlery tray out, then it’s reasonably safe, although there was an incident with the cheese grater the other day…!!
Veet up your nostrils made me shiver. The idea of having them waxed bought tears to my eyes!
I remember moving to a new house when I was 6 and having to make friends with the neighbours. Terrifying!
I hope the dogs stopped puking everywhere, or that you at least got some sort of treasure if she didn’t…….
Thanks for the laugh! Were you really mean to your sister recently? Veet up the nostrils, honestly! (let me know if it works, might suggest it to the hubster!!).
I can’t believe she (celeb) hasn’t replied, her loss! Although you did sign off using the word (and I use the term loosely) Anyhoo
I’m sure my neighbours must think I kill the munchkin on a daily basis, terraced houses are a bit of a nightmare when you have screaming kids.
I read in Elle magazine or it could have been Grazia, that you can have nostrils waxed!
I’ve had a dishwasher for years, I now have a red one! Isobel is always helping me pack and unpack it – I just take out the knives first!
Thanks for the update – I loved it, as ever! Why don’t you ditch the dishwasher and use the husband. I do – it’s great!!
Who’s the celebrity? Might I know them too? It wasn’t Jimmy Saville was it?
I shall email you
Am exactly the same with the dishwasher…paranoid my hubby calls it. As for the wrinkle cream let me know if it works, the Grand Canyon is taking up residence on my face.
Love the doggie stuff we used to have a Staffie who liked the neighbours house as much as ours…lol
Wouldn’t face-down teaspoons be more dangerous than face-up ones?
Oh god! Yes they would. Maybe I should just wash all cutlery by hand ….
I don’t mind loading the dishwasher, but I HATE unloading it.
Lots of eye wrinkle cream for me, but I am not sure it’s working.
Oh Holy Cow! I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time…
I am sorry it was at your expense…but you are a hoot! A move is hard, with children, should be illegal…don’t kill anyone, please. But keep writting whatever you do….as I said, you are a hoot (southern, for interesting)
LOL My calender with the cross outs is on the fridge and I would be lost with out it!
Do let us know if you find a wrinkle cream that works. I’m getting sick and tired of everyone calling me Mam. Must be the wrinkles fault.
Laughed out loud at the doggy stuff. You have a very entertaining life Laura!
Met the husband on sat. Will have to apologise for me – he was very friendly and in the middle of a conversation with me when no.2 son decided to do something hideous – again and never managed to retrace steps back to said conversation. Believe you were out buying wrinkle cream!?