The other day, in the supermarket, as I was deciding which toilet roll offer was going to give me the best sheet to wipe ratio the 7 year old threw me off track.
“Why did Nanna have to die?” she asked, totally out of the blue, causing me to grab the nearest, and probably most expensive, pack.
“She had a disease called cancer. Sometimes people get better, but Nanna was too poorly and she died” I replied, never quite knowing how little or how much to say.
“I wish I could have met Nanna, Mummy” she said looking up at me with her sad eyes, squeezing my hand. Looking at her, right there, in the toilet roll aisle I felt a new wave of grief as I saw myself 24 years ago, two years older, looking up and hearing the news that my Mummy had died.
(just for the record I didn’t break down in the supermarket)
Later, that evening, she announced that there weren’t enough pictures of Nanna in our house. I agreed and decided to fill another frame, for the living room, with a picture of my Mum. The 7 year old commandeered it “Can I have that in my room?” she said tracing my Mum’s face with her finger.
I gave her the framed photo and she took it upstairs. Later at bedtime, when I went to say goodnight, I found her sat looking at the picture. I reached for the photo, to put it on the windowsill but she held on firmly.
“I wish she was here” she said putting the picture under her pillow.
I never thought the ripple would reach that far. That she would be missed by the granddaughter, who never knew her but keeps her close while she sleeps.
13 Comments on "A new wave of grief in the toilet roll aisle …"
Don’t be so upset. Happiness and Sad moments are the part of our lives. Don’t be so emotional about it. We also will die one day.
What a beautiful post, so sad. Hugs to you. Utterly adorable of your daughter. Just shows how we must keep our loved ones’ memories alive so that those who don’t get to meet them have a sense of who they were.
Ahh, bless her. It shows you that she’s been brought up to show kindness and compassion and since she was born, she has felt your love for your mum just by being around you. She knows that if you loved your mum very much that she would have done too. Mums are precious, all of ours and all of us.
Oh, bless her lovely heart. What a gorgeous girl. Hard for you, but so lovely to know your mother is missed even by those who never knew her. x
My mum died just before I discovered that I was expecting again. I fretted over the fact that they would never meet and her memory would die,(so much so that I founded a family stories website) but maybe I should have been thinking about the possibility that no sooner had she gone he (my baby son) had arrived – perhaps, just perhaps, there is more than a little bit of her inside him.
http://www.saveeverystep.com – family stories on a chronological timeline, free
http://saveeverystep.wordpress.com – family stories past and present Blog
Hey, lovely post, sad but also comforting to think special people can live on in hearts and minds. It broke my heart to do it, but I made my kids a snap fish photo book each of pics of my mum. My 3yo won’t remember her so it seemed important to do it. I added captions so they almost become like picture books. Just a thought, might not be appropriate, but it was therapeutic and helped to tell the story Which I guess in the future they will be curious about, like yours are now
Bless her heart. And hugs for you. x
Do you know what, that was beautiful. It brought a tear to my eye (okay, I am premenstrual and missing someone right now)
Your daughter sounds like a sweetheart
Evey (Polythene Pram)
I just want to hug you and Boo. A poignant post – just gorgeous x
Aaaah, the boo certainly has your caring nature. I wondered why she was clutching that piccie the other day.
She’s such a special girl.
It never stops hurting. I’m so sorry, Laura.
It shows the empathy of your daughter that she feels so much love for your Mum – she must obviously adore you to miss her….does that make sense?
xxx
My two say the same. More photos comign your way. Love x