Sometimes you get an email and you salivate … actually dribble down your pashmina which isn’t a real one because you bought it on ebay for a fiver.
I had an email like that a few weeks ago.
Would I like to test some Green & Blacks chocolate? Umm, let me think about that for half a millisecond. Of course I would.
So the lovely people at Green & Blacks, who must go home to their families from work each night smelling divine, sent me some.
The postman, the one who we think is grooming the dog, stuck one of those ‘I couldn’t be arsed to ring the bell and wait for your husband who works on the third floor to answer the door’ ‘sorry you weren’t in’ cards through the door without ringing the doorbell … twice.
I ended up having to get it redelivered to work. All in all it took over a week.
A week of thinking about chocolate.
I had all sorts of ideas about how I would savour each piece of chocolate and tell you, my loyal readers, how good it smelled, how each piece was like liquid velvet. I was going to do a really amusing blog post all about it.
My intentions were all good, the thought of how I would write about the taste testing kept me awake at night as I sniggered at my own hilarious jokes about chocolate.
Unfortunately it didn’t quite work out like that.
By the time Royal mail pulled their finger out and redirected my chocolate I was like a woman possessed. All rational thought of being a good taste tester gone.
On the first Green & Blacks (White) night … The Husband and I had an argument. I think he thought I was being poncy when I told him to smell the chocolate before putting it in his mouth. I went in a huff. I asked him to ‘observe the appearance of the chocolate’, ’smell the chocolate’ and ‘pinch his nose to experience the taste’. Despite my huff, it tasted lovely.
On the second Green & Blacks (Cherry) night … The Husband saw the error of his ways and HE suggested we taste it properly. I laughed as we read ‘Allow roughly two squares per person. Any more will give you tasting fatigue’. I pinched my nose and decided I had no sense of smell. … and it still tasted lovely.
On the third (Butterscotch), fourth (Almond) and fifth (Milk) Green & Blacks nights … We threw caution to the wind and whilst distracted by the TV ate with very little taste testing.
On the sixth Green & Blacks (Creamy Milk) night … The Husband played football and I accidentally fell on an open bar of chocolate. Unfortunately I had my mouth open and before I could regain my senses it was gone. Although an ‘accidental’ eating, it still tasted lovely.
On the seventh Green & Blacks (Dark 85%) night … So here I am, with one bar left … 85% dark chocolate feeling like I need to do it more justice than just wolfing it down. I’m thinking of making some chocolate brownies … unless any of you can suggest something else!
Oh, and no tasting fatigue here, I can honestly say that two squares is never enough.
27 Comments on "10% Mother, 10% Wife … 80% Cocoa Solids"
What, no Maya Gold? And how does one get on the list to get free chocolate???
This recipe for Whole Wheat Double Chocolate Orange Cookies would work just as well with dark chocolate. They went down a treat in this house, where even the children like extra dark chocolate!
I am getting serious envy from all of you going “oh did you like the (insert delicious flavour here) one”…. Where’s my free chocolate? Vicariously scoffing it in front of the telly just isn’t the same somehow! I did once take my mum to a chocolate tasting at l’Artisan du Chocolat in London (it was her birthday present and it would have been truly undaughterly of me to make her go on her own) which still rates as one of the highlights of my life….
I like that you bought her a present and factored yourself into the fun. That’s the way it should be!
What a superb review. There is an art to writing a sponsored post, and you definitely have it
Why thank you kind lady!
*sob* I am soooo soooo jealous! why oh why did they not send me some? Do they not know I am THE biggest chocoholic in the country? *sob*
I don’t know how you stayed so restrained to eat only one a night, I think I may have had to eat at least two a night. ;0))
It’s OK, shortly my arse will be so big we will have to have the door frames widened and then you’ll be thanking your lucky stars you didn’t get any.
tasting fatigue? ha ha ha, as if! sounds lovely btw, never tasted myself but have been drooling over all these yummy posts
Well, if I get you as my secret post club this month you know what you’ll be getting!
Thanks: I now need to get some Green & Blacks’ now; I didn’t know they had so many flavours!
There are even more flavours than that, I reckon they should send me some more for next week.
I love the cherry one – but I like the slight sourness. Otherwise, dark and almond are favourites. Oh, and ginger. Butterscotch is delicious but too sweet.
I was given some miniatures when I was in hospital. I find one of the 12g bars just right, though one day I scarfed down two. But usually, I buy dark chocolate (actually, Montezuma’s is even better than Green & Blacks) as I find that I can eat two squares of dark chocolate and stop, whereas milk chocolate, having much more sugar in, is more addictive and less satisfying, so it’s hard to resist eating more. This applies all the more to cheap chocolate – it’s the sugar that does the damage and the lower proportion of actual chocolate.
The butterscotch one was nice. I agree, dark chocolate is much harder to get rid of quickly. Milk chocolate … now where did I put that milk chocolate?
Hilarious, I have this image of you two looking all snooty having a quick sniff, then a spark of madness enters your eyes and you start stuffing it in (the chocolate) with wild abandon.
I’m getting through mine quite nicely. They all smell and , erm, feel great.
Ack who am I kidding, they have barely touched the sides. Can I just say though, the cherry one makes me pull faces every time I hit a cherry. I’m soldiering on though.
Were you peeking through my window Mrs B?
The cherry one does have that effect. A bit tarty. The chocolate that is, not you.
I hope you didn’t suffer too much after your accident?
I just fancy a bit of creamy milk now. Two squares, tasting fatigue, what a load of tosh!!!
Oh you know, it hurt a little.
I’m beginning to think it is post office policy to not try the doorbell – I mean maybe just maybe it has been written they are not supposed to take active steps to deliver the mail….it’s probably a health and safety issue – they could be felled on our doorsteps with our gratitude at not having to sort out redelivery or walking/driving to the post office depot with two babies in tow and having to wait in a queue for ages.
I could brain my postman – He never ever rings the doorbell and I always get down the stairs to find a red slip —— ARGH!!!!
Our post office pick up place is somewhere with no parking and they shut at 1pm. Was pleased to discover that they would redeliver within same postcode for free but then they failed again!
What makes it worse is that we have the same postie every day and he knows the husband is at home. Grrr.
I cannot believe you ate ONE bar a day!
I bought a box of the new milk miniatures home yesterday and hubster and I sat and scoffed them while watching Lost. I actually told him there were no Almond bars in there while slipping them under the cushion to scoff myself . . . what? what?
Only half a bar a day until the ‘accident’ I’ll have you know.
When I tasted the almond one I thought of you, I’m a cherry girl myself.
OOH I am loving all this chocolate that has been coming our way. I very stupidly did a competition with mine. Next time I’m just going to eat it. Lxx
You did what? YOU GAVE IT AWAY?
You’re not the woman I thought you were Lulu.
I’m so utterly impressed that you made it last a week! This post kind of reminded me of the ‘and on the second day, God made…’ bit out of the bible. Except with chocolate instead of an apple. Actually no, scrap that. Crap analogy. xx
Ackchewerly Mrs Analogy … I did have the 12 Days of Christmas in mind when I was writing it.
… and a paaaaaaaaaartridge in a peaaaaaat treeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Oh wow, can I get on their address list too?! Love the review of the Creamy Milk – that seems to happen to me rather a lot. Especially on football nights, funnily enough…
Football nights are terrible for accidents of a chocolate variety. I consume the calories as The Husband burns them off.